Experts say that the phenomenon of leftover women is a manifestation of social diversification

They, also known as 3S women - Single (single), Seventies (born in the seventies), Stuck (stuck, that is, not married). They are what people call "leftover women."

At the beginning of March, a well-known domestic marriage website published the “Private Book of Leftover Women” in the series of surveys of Chinese women and men’s marriage and love. According to the survey, 39.3% of the women surveyed in Shenzhen thought they belonged to “leftover women,” and ranked second in major cities nationwide after Xiamen.

Most of the urban “leftover women” are described as such a group: high income, high education, and senior age. They used to be proud men in the eyes of the crowd. In recent years, they have fallen into an alternative because of their unmarried status. Especially in Shenzhen, the pressure for survival, fast pace, and less time for friends, coupled with the prominent occupational gender segregation problem, make young men and women less able to make friends.

Professionals say that if you want to ease the problem of “leftover women,” in addition to relying on the parties to adjust their attitudes and actively pursue happiness, the government and relevant agencies also need to take measures to improve the occupational gender segregation, or help young people by organizing regular large-scale dating activities. Men and women create a friendship platform to increase mating opportunities.

In response to the phenomenon of “leftover women,” some scholars have stated that the “leftover women” forces have greatly increased and are related to multiple factors such as social transformation, changes in the value orientation, and the increase in the demographic structure and the status of women. In the final analysis, “leftover women” is not a crisis. They are nothing special, but merely a manifestation of the process of social pluralism.

What kind of role should a 35-year-old woman be in the eyes of ordinary people, especially men? Old-fashioned? As Mei dry food like no feminine? If the 35-year-old single woman still stays in this imaginary, I would like to remind you: "You are already out!"

Amy can be seen as the representative of most "leftover women" in Shenzhen. Next month, she will be 35 years old. Amy has a master's degree in seaweeds and is currently working as an analyst in a financial institution. Due to his strong work ability, Amy is very much appreciated by the boss and he often flies on the job. Overtime on the weekend is even more common.

The business is booming, but the feelings are nothing. After returning from school at the age of 25, Amy has been looking for people who can spend the rest of their lives together. The demand for the other half is just “come together” and the economic conditions are just as good as they are. Relatives and friends also introduced her to several people, but the other person would retreat when she heard her income. Now, Amy does not have to worry about it. When she is free, she will be at home watching CDs and listening to music at leisure.

In 2010, the China Women's Federation designated the "leftover woman" as 27 years old. Today, in Shenzhen and even in developed cities in China, the emergence of young women like Amy who are called “leftover women” has become a social phenomenon.

Shenzhen is more than men and women

On March 7th this year, China's rated dating website, Century Jiayuan, released the “Private Book of Leftover Women” series of surveys on China’s women and men’s marriage and love (hereinafter referred to as the “Principal Book”). There were 85,498 valid samples of the survey, of which 41116 were female respondents, accounting for 49% of the total, and the majority of the surveys were after the 80s and 70s. Among them, 36.3% of the surveyed women in Guangdong thought they belonged to “leftover women”, ranking third in the country. In Shenzhen, 39.3% of the surveyed women considered themselves “leftover women”, ranking the second in major cities in the country after Xiamen.

However, it is worth noting that, due to the adjustment of Shenzhen's industrial institutions, the original “three to ones” processing industry in Shenzhen is shrinking. The information industry, financial industry, communications industry, logistics industry, high-end service industry, and even construction industry etc. The industry gradually accounts for a large proportion, and the proportion of men and women in Shenzhen is no longer similar to the “1:7 ratio of males and females” in the early years of rumors.

The reporter reviewed the "Main Data of the Sixth National Population Census in Shenzhen in 2010" released by the Bureau of Statistics of the People's Republic of China in April last year. As of November 1st, 2010, the sex ratio of Shenzhen has been more than men and women. Among the city’s resident population, the male population is 5,614,027, accounting for 54.20%; the female population is 4,743,911, accounting for 45.80%. The sex ratio of the total population (100 for women, and the ratio of men to women) rose from 97.74 in the fifth national census in 2000 to 118.34.

Over 70% of the blind date is the female levy.

“You are a boy or a girl?” In the famous Lianhua Mountain “Leading Marriage” in Shenzhen, this is a greeting between parents or a matchmaker and a greeting between parents. The other person’s answer is mostly a “girl”, and most of the answers will also be answered. Asked the party's sigh, "It's a girl!" Then she shook her head and asked for another.

The first greeting between parents reveals that there are more girls than boys in the “marriage corner”. The reporter found in the "marriage horn" a few information announcement columns full of "friends" or "marriage" notice, found on a bulletin board 60 "friends notice", of which 43 are women looking for men, only 17 men are looking for women. On the other bulletin board, there are 44 "advices", of which 40 are for women and 4 for men. From the information on the posting column, it can be seen that boys are without doubt "scarce resources."

Aunt Qin of Northeast China, who had worked for two years as a matchmaker in the “marriage horn,” told reporters that more than 70% of the women who look for objects here are women looking for men. “Most of them are looking for objects for their daughters. Parents are here. Is to inquire whether there is a single male, boys resources are relatively small, as long as you see the information posted on the relatively good single men, parents will rush to recommend their own daughters, more excellent single men are very sought-after.” Another married Tan Tan Auntie also stated that the number of girls who register to find objects in her is at least more than half of that of boys. “A lot of girls could not find a suitable boy for a couple of years.”

Immigrant cities create unstable relationships

Since there are fewer males and females, why are Shenzhen's "leftover daughters" so much? “Shenzhen young women are relatively independent and the age of marriage is relatively young. Our definition of a 30-year-old unmarried woman is called 'unmarried young woman'.” Jiang Yongmin, president of the Shenzhen City Women’s Federation of Pengcheng’s Marriage Guidance Service, believes that Shenzhen’s urban situation is special. .

Due to the problem of talent structure, it is easy for white-collar workers in Shenzhen to become "left men" and "leftover women." Jiang Yumin said that Shenzhen's “leftover woman” mainly includes female returnees, women who enter management, and professional women who have been delayed due to their busy work. Because they graduated with high academic qualifications, graduates are generally over the age of 25; at the beginning of their career they have no time for marriage and love, after years of hard work, their stable career age is close to 30 years old, unconsciously into the "old age" Ranks.

Young women in Shenzhen basically come from all over the country. They are forced to leave their hometowns. In addition to being under pressure to work and survive in other cities, they also have to endure loneliness that is far from their loved ones and without love. Although living in the same space, people from different cultural environments and backgrounds have few opportunities to understand each other and identify with each other. High-speed crowds increase the uncertainty and insecurity of human relationships.

“At the heart of unmarried young women in old age, when men are married and women are married, it is the accumulation of thousands of years of Chinese customs. The delay in marriage can not solve the psychological pressure on self-affirmation to some extent. "An analysis of Jiang Yumin.

Jiang Yumin said frankly that Shenzhen, as an immigration city, has a very high degree of openness and tolerance. Relatively speaking, Shenzhen’s “leftover woman” does not have to bear excessive public opinion pressure. "But the pressure is still there. Social pressure comes from the 'watching' psychology criticized by Mr. Lu Xun. They became the talk of people after lunch. The subject of media hype made them generally unwilling to participate in social activities. This became a 'leftover woman'. On the basis of this, they have become house-girls, which further reduces their chances of finding the other half."

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Parents hope that the government will set up more platforms for friendship

Nearly every "leftover woman" has a pair of "fearful" parents. All said that Shenzhen has more "leftover women" and it has an intuitive embodiment in the "marriage angle". Hundreds of parents gather here from all sides in Shenzhen every day to find the children who are still single at the age of marriage.

For their daughter's lifelong events, parents have called on the Shenzhen government to build more free networking platforms so that young men and women who are busy with work have the opportunity to know and understand each other and find their own half.

To solve her daughter's lifelong event "can't sleep"

Aunt Liu, who lives in Jingtian North, is a regular guest of the “marriage horn.” She told reporters that because she was relatively close to home, in the past six months, she has taken her husband almost every one or two days to help her daughter find her.

Aunt Liu has also identified several suitable objects for her daughter in the six months of the “marriage junta”. However, she has not succeeded yet. The daughter's marriage had not taken place one day. Aunt Liu was unable to sleep a day.

It's not just Liu Aunt who can’t sleep. According to the reporter's “marriage angle”, many parents are retirees and should have been nurtured after retirement. However, what they did not expect was that after retirement, the lifelong event of their daughter became the top priority after their retirement.

“We could have had a good retirement in our hometown after retirement. We don’t want to add a burden to our children in Shenzhen. However, when we saw her in her thirties, she was still not looking for objects. She was in a hurry.” Aunt Yang from Nanshan was also a “family unable to sleep” family. A member of the staff, she said, she is now staring at her daughter all day to find the object. "She found the object, and I also feel relieved to return to my old home to go."

“Educating children and preventing old age” is the concept of old-age support for Chinese people since ancient times. However, for the parents who came to Lotus Hill to find a child, the marriage of their children is even more difficult than their own, and some even worry about “bringing up a daughter to old age”.

Solving marriages among older teens can help increase happiness

Ever since, the small “marriage angle” of Lianhuashan Park has become the hope of parents. “My daughter is busy with her work, she has few opportunities to interact with the outside world, and there are few opportunities to recognize the opposite sex. We only know such a matchmaking platform. All of them came to try their luck, but there is no way to do that, mainly because Shenzhen has too few platforms for young men and women to meet each other.” Aunt Lee from Lo Wu said helplessly.

Auntie Li told reporters that more and more women are looking for objects in the “marriage horn.” This has become a major problem that has plagued many parents. Parents all hope that the Shenzhen government will pay attention to this issue. To this end, a month ago, Ah Lai specially wrote a letter to the Secretary of the Shenzhen Municipal Party Committee through some channels to express the parents' appeal. Unfortunately, she has not received a reply so far.

In the interview process, the parents of “Marriage Corner” expressed this appeal to reporters. They hope that the relevant government departments can really pay attention to Shenzhen’s “leftover women” problem, and suggested that women’s federations, city league committees, trade unions, volunteer unions and other units can build some The free men's and women's friendship platform allows young men and women who are busy with the "two points and one line" life to have the opportunity to understand and understand. “The lifelong events of young men and women are resolved. Shenzhen will become more harmonious and social well-being will become higher and higher.” Parents believe that.

【Expert Round Table】

The phenomenon of "leftover woman" is a manifestation of social pluralism

Guests

Jiang Yumin, Chairman of the Shenzhen City Women's Federation, Pengcheng City, Marriage Advisor

Yu Changjiang Deputy Dean of School of Humanities, Shenzhen Graduate School of Peking University

Zheng Peifang TV host, columnist, emotional consultant

Hu Chin-hung veteran marriage consultant

Nowadays, the reason why women do not "left" in society is the same, and the reasons for "remaining" are different. This looks like a topic without conclusion. The phenomenon of “leftover women” is also considered to be one of the “developmental diseases” in the current society.

To this end, the Nanfang Daily reporter invited a number of industry insiders, experts, and scholars to conduct a “brainstorming” on the phenomenon of “leftover women,” and explore the crux of the phenomenon of “leftover women.”

Marriage is a two-way choice you pick him, he also picks you

Nanfang Daily: According to a survey of well-known marriage dating websites in China, the reason why the “leftover woman” self-report is left is the lack of understanding of the opposite sex; in the eyes of men, “thinking that you are excellent and your eyes are too high” is their point of view. Do you think this view is reasonable? What is the main reason for this difference?

Jiang Yumin: After 80s, young women have strong self-awareness. Most of them are only children. Their family conditions are superior to those of the post-70s. At home, they are the center of several generations, and they tend to overestimate themselves. At the same time, they grew up in the highly developed age of the Internet and television. Rich information and higher-than-life television programs have given them a high expectation of future life.

Therefore, before the age of 28, their demand for boys is relatively high and they are more selective. However, by the age of 30, there will be a strong sense of crisis and the conditions for mate selection will naturally be lowered.

Zheng Peifang: Now that some girls are more utilitarian, they are rushing to each other’s money on their mates, regardless of the other’s quality. I suggest that more girls should clearly understand themselves and know their feelings. When you have such a request for men, have you ever thought of what you can give to the other person? Why should others choose you?

Hu Chin-hung: From this it can be seen that "leftover women" is not generated on a day-to-day basis. A good way to help them is to let young women not rely on "waiting" to reap their love. From teenage girls to young people to young women, each stage has its own needs for psychological development. In the teenage period, it is necessary to educate students about marriage and love, develop the correct concept of marriage, and exercise their social skills. This can prevent many problems of marriage from happening. .

There is no change in personnel policy that cannot be resolved in the short term

Nanfang Daily: The proportion of Shenzhen's population has gradually shown a trend of “man and woman less” since the end of 2010. In your opinion, what kind of trend will the “leftover woman” phenomenon develop in the future?

Zheng Peifang: For women, a good marriage age should be about 30 years old, because women's accumulation of emotional awareness, to some extent, requires the precipitation of age. But many men want their bride to be 25 years old. For example, the marriage partner I locked in is a man over 40 years old, but many men over the age of 40 are looking for a 20-year-old girl, so we are left. This is very contradictory, so the "leftover woman" phenomenon cannot be fully resolved in the short term.

Jiang Yumin: At present, the “Pingcheng City” participating in the dating service has many girls who are more than boys, especially the education and health system. They are almost all girls. If Shenzhen does not change its personnel policy, it is estimated that the phenomenon of “leftover women” will continue.

Nanfang Daily: Some public opinion believes that “leftover women” is not an emotional issue but a social issue. What is your attitude towards this view?

Yu Changjiang: I personally think that the “leftover woman” is just a social phenomenon that is far from rising to the height of social issues. So far, there has not been a clear definition of “leftover women” in society. Why is the formation of "leftover women" because of personal or social reasons? The current topic is very general.

Shenzhen is an immigration city. The urban atmosphere is open and modern. People advocate independence. In such a city, individual choices have a lot to do with the ethos of the city and the degree of individualized society. The social form of Shenzhen gives people more choices. If you are in another social situation, perhaps your choice of marriage will be different.

I think that "leftover women" is actually a product of multiple factors, like high housing prices and housing slaves, and it is also part of the development of social pluralism.

Remind relevant departments to guard against labeling “leftover women”

Nanfang Daily: In addition to seeking solutions from the “leftover women” themselves, the issue of “leftover women” also needs to rely on all sectors of society, including government agencies, social worker volunteer organizations, and social for-profit service agencies. In your opinion, what role should the government play?

Yu Changjiang: "leftover women" is not a "problem" and remains to be controversial. Therefore, there is no solution or not. Relevant government departments can try to open up various information communication platforms to speed up the communication of people in the entire society. Not only "leftover women" and "leftover men" are also benefiting the entire people. Of course, if possible, the government can help young people solve personal problems if they provide more easy-to-apply housing and affordable housing.

What needs to be emphasized is that in this process, the government must treat the phenomenon of “leftover women” carefully, and should not label this group with “labels.” Otherwise, under the concern of the government department “seeing each other”, this group may form psychologically. The "self-fulfilling prophetic effect" means that one always thinks that he is a "leftover woman," and that the result is not that "leftover woman" has become a real "leftover woman."

Zheng Peifang: At present, the matchmaking website and the intermediary market are pros and cons. Relatively speaking, the government has high authority and credibility. It is suggested that some relevant government departments select certain fixed sites and hold a series of networking activities.

I suggest that in order to better improve the success rate of matchmaking, the organizer can independently plan the use of different color membership cards to distinguish between events in each event and strive to expand opportunities for men and women with similar conditions in terms of income, age, and education level.

Jiang Yumin: The Shenzhen government should pay attention to the phenomenon of “leftover women”, adjust the employment policy, and balance the proportion of young men and women; entrust social organizations to provide regular dating services to break gender separation in the industry and allow young men and women who are gender-segregated in the industry to have opportunities for exchanges; Men and women provide special dating services to solve their "friendship difficulties."

It is worth mentioning that on April 15th, we will hold a 14th session of the Pengcheng Youth Spring-Friendly Association, a special event for mature men and women, at the Luo Man Dixi Restaurant especially for young unmarried men and women youths. The Women's Federation and the Municipal Federation of Trade Unions jointly sponsored the participation of young people who are interested in participating in active registration.

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